Love bombing
An early flood of attention, future talk, and gifts that arrives before the person actually knows you.
Love bombing is intensity used as a shortcut past the slow part of getting to know someone. The tell is what happens when you don't match the volume: withdrawal, sulking, or a sudden cooling.
What it looks like
- Constant contact and future plans in the first fortnight, aimed at a version of you they haven't met yet.
- Gifts that outpace the relationship, followed by references to how much they've given.
- A noticeable chill the first time you're slow to reply or need an evening alone.
What it isn't
- Two people who are genuinely excited and also fine when the other is busy.
- Fast pace by mutual agreement, where either person can slow it without a cost.
One thing to do with this
Deliberately keep one ordinary commitment of your own and observe the reaction, not the words.
Where this shows up in the field guide
These sections of the green flags field guide cover the behaviours behind love bombing.