Co-Parenting with a High-Conflict Ex

# Co-Parenting with a High-Conflict Ex When collaborative co-parenting isn't possible, **parallel parenting** protects your kids and your peace. You disengage from the ex while staying fully engaged with the children. ## Core principles - Communicate only about the children - Use writing whenever possible (text, email, or a co-parenting app) - Keep messages BIFF: **B**rief, **I**nformative, **F**riendly, **F**irm - Never use the children as messengers ## Tools that help - **OurFamilyWizard, TalkingParents, AppClose** — timestamped, court-admissible communication - **Shared calendars** for schedules, appointments, and school events - **Written parenting plan** covering holidays, transportation, and decision-making ## Protecting the kids - Don't criticize the other parent in front of them - Don't interrogate them about the other household - Give them permission to love both parents - Keep your emotional processing with adults — therapist, support group, trusted friend ## When to involve professionals - Repeated boundary violations → consult a family lawyer - Signs of manipulation of the children → request a parenting coordinator or reunification therapist - Any safety concern → document and contact appropriate authorities Parallel parenting is not failure. For high-conflict situations, it's often the healthiest structure available.