R
The Reflection Method
Get help now — crisis support

When the mask slips: a short video on spotting the signs and getting crisis support

Four everyday moments (a party, the drive home, a silent evening, packing documents) where a partner's charm turns cold, and what you can do to stay safe.

How-to: a few tips for using the app

A 40-second walkthrough of everyday moments where All Green Flags can help.

Flying monkeys and enablers: five everyday scenarios

A one-minute look at how relatives, friends and coworkers can pass messages, guilt or information back to an ex, with calm replies you can use. Read the flying monkeys field guide, use the script template, or see common enabler tactics.

Video transcript

  1. 0:00 · Opening

    When the mask slips. Four moments when charm turns cold, and what you can do next.

  2. 0:10 · The party

    In public they're warm and funny. Then a quiet, cutting remark meant only for you. Notice the switch. You don't have to argue in the moment. Stay close to a friend you trust.

  3. 0:30 · The drive home

    Once the audience is gone, the warmth disappears. Silence. Blame. Keep your answers short and calm. If you feel unsafe, ask to be dropped somewhere public, or call someone.

  4. 0:50 · A silent evening

    Dinner on the table, and nothing back. The silent treatment is a punishment, not a conversation. Don't chase it. Ground yourself and reach out to someone who cares about you.

  5. 1:10 · Packing documents

    When the pattern keeps repeating, it's information. Quietly gather your ID, cards and key documents. Make a safety plan and tell one person you trust.

  6. 1:25 · Crisis support

    If you're in danger, call 911. Call or text 988, or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. Find crisis support any time on All Green Flags.

Next steps